Gnome in Your Home: A dark-ish romance with a new twist on Santa and the act of gift giving. please read all content warnings before diving in!
Christmas and Other Horrors: A delightful horror anthology filled with Christmassy cheer and gore!
Two-Parts Mistletoe: A short thirty-page queer read about love potions and meeting your anonymous booty call in real life for the first time.
Beneath the Monster: The grinch but for adults!
I read quite a few books over the holiday season, but these held my attention for whatever reason. I’m not apologizing for the smut! You should know me by now!
The brand new chapter for Patchwork and Pitchforks will be live on January 1st. Thank you for reading and happy new year
Helloooo! Yes, I am back with more Patchwork and Pitchforks! I have been writing it, I swear! Iâve just been juggling a lot, like self-doubt and impostor syndrome. I gotta tackle this monster in 2025! I have to subdue it! I must! And I will! Anyway, I want to post more and I plan on doing just that. This story is dear to me. I love these characters and where theyâve taken me so far. The world is bigger than I thought itâd be. Exploring every aspect will be fun, and hopefully, yâall like it too. Have a wonderful day and thanks for stopping by!
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! And I know! Iâm a few days late, but Happy Solstice! I hope everyone has had a fantastical day with loved ones, pets, or alone. However you celebrate, I hope you are happy and relaxed. Please be gentle with yourself in the coming year. It may be easier said than done -in my case- but it isnât impossible. Extend grace and gratitude to yourself. Thank yourself for the little things. When times are rough, take a breath and do whatever brings you joy. I donât give a damn what that is. Cling to your hobbies, films, crafts, and/or books. Write what you want, read what you want, and be who you want to be! I am taking my own advice here. I want to be one with my inner child and write, read, and create, with a smile. Letâs be Merry and Bright but in our own way! Have a lovely evening and thanks for stopping by!
These are not recommendations, they aren’t opinions. This is a convention. A tried, true, and CORRECT way of doing things. I know in the writing community we say “break the rules”! But we’re talking about adding more adverbs and gerunds, not BREAKING GENRE VOWS.
Romance has hea. Love story no hea.
A vow is the finding out who the killer is in a whodunit. It’s seeing the creature in a creature feature horror. It’s the hockey player in a hockey romance. It’s an action-adventure WITH action and adventure. The romance vow is a promised and EXPECTED HAPPILY EVER AFTER OR HAPPY FOR NOW. This is non-negotiable. But play with romance readers if you want to. Travel on down the edgelord path and see where it takes you. Good luck, honey. You gon’ need it.
Per usual, SGJ delivers gorey vibes, fun, and cringe-worthy scenes! This being my third title by him in under a month, I have something to say about his style. I don’t hate it, in fact, I think it’s great. But! Don’t jump me! I think his horror is kinda cozy. It feels like it’s cozy, dark, fiction instead of straight horror. Granted, I have a lot more to read by SGJ so my opinion might change. For now, yes, it’s cozy and dark.
Now, onto the book! Let me be clear, Movie zombies scare the shit outta me. The idea of zombies is terrifying and I used to love Resident Evil, Doom, and Zombieland. One nightmare changed that for me. Anyway, this is my first zombie novel in fifteen years and I loved it! I think zombie fiction might bring me back to this world. I don’t know, we’ll see.
SGJ is heavy-handed with them icky vibes. I mean the description of brain-eating is ON POINT.
SPOOOOILERS AHEAD!
I enjoyed the characters and their journey. I knew Johnny T. had to go, and after Kent’s confession, I was hoping for him to have his head lopped off.
I wasn’t happy about Tiny Giant! I didn’t want him to turn or die. I screamed, “Nooooo you poor thing! I hate this so much!” But this isn’t a fuzzy found family romance so I was SOL. I wanted a kiss between Xombie and Terry! Again, as someone who reads romance pretty heavily, I needed it! (a me problem) But, I love the pinch of cute we got from them.
That is my one complaint. Other than SGJ breaking my heart with Tiny Ginat, I have NO NOTES! 4.5!
I am back with my October faves recap! I had quite a time with SGJ as you can see. Since reading Only the Good Indians last month, I have picked up more of his books. I think, from what I’ve read, folks either love his style or they hate it. I am on the love side of things. It’s kinda comforting honestly, to see an author do what the farquad they want I adored It Came From Del Rio immensely, It was compact, dark, and sad as shit. I loved it. The short stories?! I have something to say about them individually, but I’ll save that for another time, y’all.
As you know, my faves list isn’t complete without romance and smut. If you like it, HAY FREEEN. If you don’t, fine but do not judge my taste based on what I choose to read.
Midnight in the Grove is a sexy romp and a sequel. Do not read this cute Black love story if you ain’t read the first.
Last but not least, Horrorstor! Uhmmmmm…yeah, no, I don’t wanna go to an Ikea ever in my life. Grady Hendrix will make light of the most dreary circumstances and think it’s hilarious. I don’t know how many are familiar with Backrooms but Horrstor reminded me of that. And it freaked me the HELL out!
This wasn’t the weirdest moment of her life. And it wasn’t the first time someone had taken her in. When Jasper popped up from hell she was alone, until arriving in Ledisi Tillersonâs backyard. Theyâd met thanks to a cheap, sketchy rock that opened said gateway. Jasper knew better than to buy keys from a demon selling baggies of ash on the corner, but she was desperate. It worked out for them in the end. Ledisi was a vivacious vixen and a great friend. She taught Jasper how to be a normal land dweller and live without shame. They shared meals, a bed, and laughs for two wholesome years. It was the greatest romance of her life. At eighty-two, Ledisi was a spry freak who liked it rough. “Jasper, you don’t even know these people. You can’t move in with them.” Kit had always been an anxious worrywart who couldnât whisper to save his life. As they followed the Sunsides along a well-laid brick path she smiled. “Why not? They offered. And free too? You don’t understand how amazing that four-letter word is. I need this. And I’m not moving in with anyone. You heard Buck, they have cabins andâŚshit, look at this place.” The couple owned a ranch, close to one thousand acres, and the surrounding mountain range. It was nearly 9pm but with the crescent moon aglow and her decent demonic vision, Jasper saw enough. Rolling hills, serene pastures,, and babbling streams. “Ohhhh, I can see,” Kit mumbled. “The copse of trees are particularly frightening and nefarious. It’s dark out here. I don’t have the best night vision as you know. I should have brought the bear spray. Are there lions?” “I don’t think lions live in this part of the world.” “Through my travel research, I read that lions live on mountains. They are encircling us. This isâŚJasper⌔ Kit whined, clutching a beastly creature he called Julep. It was a ratty, black cat with sinister yellow eyes. Jasper was certain a hatch demon possessed the fearsome mammal. She shuddered and clapped her big brother on the shoulder. “You sir, need to relax. We’ll be indoors. Cushy living, great food, and shit.” Kit was three hundred years old, short, and rotund. He had the most adorable dimples and a set of ram horns she envied. But, he was too high-strung and had shaved down his impressive crown. “This is your vacation, dear brother. Enjoy yourself. Let these fine folks spend their money. You don’t know how this world functions, cash is king. And I, don’t have much to spare.” Kit shook his head as the Sunsides stopped at a charming one-story abode. It even had four-pane windows and a porch swing. “You make terrible investments, Jasper. Dad said not to buy property in Wasteland. What do you do? You buy both magma pits and a hoard of expiring souls. He said don’t, buy a hellhound. You bought three and regretted it. This house is just another one of your impulsive purchases. And now, your leading us to our death.” Kit was matter-of-fact, uppity, and judgmental, but Jasper loved every bit of him. “Shut, your mouth, Squeak. Donât be rude and behave.” “I am older than you. And donât call me that in front ofâ” “This is incredible,” Jasper interrupted, reaching the Sunsides. “I mean seriously. It’s a real cabin. With logs and stuff. Wow.” She knocked on wood and laughed. The cabin was private and semi-secluded with a twenty-minute walk from their main house. Nieema grinned and opened the door. “If you like the outside, then you’ll love it in here. I do my very best to make the guest houses homey and inviting.” âCluttered is the word ya looking for.â âHush your mouth, Buck.â The smiling gentleman listed against a thick timber column and tipped his hat. âAge before beauty.â âDoes that usually work?â Jasper asked, in passing. She didnât match his gaze, it was for her own good. âHome, sweet, home.â Jasper made sure to scrub her soles first. After stomping across the threshold, she dropped her duffel and inhaled vanilla. Cookies, cupcakes, and caramel. Every note delighted her senses. She wanted and needed to find whatever the hell smelled so amazing. âKit, look,â she pointed at an enchanting pebble stone fireplace, âitâs real. Iâve never stayed anywhere like this before.â âDoes it have indoor plumbing?â âKit!â âItâs okay,â Nieema said. âNot everybody likes the vast outdoors. Camping ainât for me either. If there isnât a toilet then Iâm not staying.â âSee.â Kit scoffed, still holding his ugly fucking cat. âShe understands. But is there a toilet?â âYes, young man, there are facilities.â Kit lifted his chin. âYoung? I beg your pardon, Mr. Sunsideââ âBuck.â âMr. Sunside, I am older than most. Young for me was ages ago.â âWelcome,â Buck shouted. âI too, am an old piece of shit.â Kit was set to protest, but Jasper stopped the oncoming rant. âThank you, again. Itâs not often you find such great company. I am in your debt.â âIs that right?â Jasper tweaked a brow and glanced in Buck’s direction. âI can cook, clean, and keep to myself. Kit and I wonât be a bother.â Nieema fluffed throw pillows and straightened a handmade quilt. It looked cozy and plush. Well crafted. Much like the buxom vampire, who was out of place. She belonged in a club, not a cabin worthy of any romantic Christmas film. âNo need for all that, now. Itâs in my nature to help those in need.â âI wouldnât say Iâmââ Nieema balked and sashayed into the kitchen. âYour house is âbout two shakes and an ogres sneeze away from collapsing. I think you do need us, and I enjoy lending a hand. Or two.â Jasper cleared her throat and tore free of Nieemaâs arresting crimson stare. Who was the succubus here? Vampires were alluring but never Jasperâs cuppa. She was obsessed with their aesthetic, sure, but never enough to taste. They were greedy and possessive. Even more, vampires got in your head and compelled people. Demons succumbed to their wiles like anyone else, but not Jasper. She didnât want any parts of Nieema or her alluring mister. No matter how nice they came off. This was trouble and she knew it well. If Trevor taught her anything, it was that relationships were dangerous. Sheâd learned a valuable lesson far too late. This realm was not for the faint-hearted. âLater on,â Buck started, âIâll have somebody bring on in perishables and such. You eat meat, Kit?â âNo, Iâm a fruit and veggie kind of fellow, and yes, of course, I eat meat. I donât look this good by accident.â Buck barked in heavy laughter and tested the faucet. âYou a feisty bull if I ever done seen one. I think Hank might like you too much.â âIâm sorry, who isââ âGround keeper.â âOh, hm.â Kit frowned at Jasper. âIâm claiming the master.â âNo, the fuck you are not!â âYes, I am.â Kit sniffed and squinted. âI am the eldest by a hundred years. If Iââ âYou want me to tell Father youâre here?â âYou wouldnât dare, you love me. I am your favorite.â âOkay, not father. Buuuut, I might tell Venus.â âOh sweet poison berries. You are unbearable andâŚâ Kit went on his way while the couple chatted about housekeepers. Jasper rapped rings on the dining table to gather their attention. âI donât need help cleaning. I wanna do it myself.â âYou sure?â Buck asked. With his dark eyes fixed, she flushed. âI am positive. I know my way around a mop and bucket.â Jasper quickly clothed herself with cool and collected. As a succubus, the male species tended to her unique needs and riled her innermost desires. She wanted to make him suffer, beg, cower, and crave. Buck appeared strong. He was wide and willing. A soul spiked with magic and malice. She had no idea what ran through his veins but he plucked multiple threads at once. His silence spoke for itself. Nieema sighed aloud and flashed porcelain fangs. âIf you need anything, call, holler, ring even. I can send you a bell.â Jasper chuckled and crossed her arms. She peered down at the small, regal woman. âIâm good. Plus, I have your number. Annnnd, weâre neighbors now.â âCâmon mama,â Buck beckoned. âMoonlight burning.â âAre you rushing me?â âWhy yes, I do think I am. Come now. I ainât fooling. Iâm starving and I need rising tea. I ainât had my first sip tonight and Iâm about to go hog wild. Doââ âHeâs always throwing a tantrum. Look at him, ainât he something else? Buckley Sunside stop embarrassing me!â âIâll show youââ Nieema hissed and Jasper flinched. The display both amused and terrified her. âOh, youâre feeling froggy âtnight. Iâll be on my way woman.â Buck flicked his hat and nodded as he departed. Nieema was mischievous, trembling with mirth. âI love getting him riled. It keeps the flame bright If you know what I mean.â âI donât,â Jasper said. Nieema hummed. âWell alright, missy. Iâll be seeing you. If youâd like, supper is at three am on the dot. Iâd like the company. I got four grandsons staying over and Buck. Iâd love a smidge of feminine energy such as yours.â âFeminine energy?â âYes, of course. You shine with it.â Jasper stamped out a ridiculous giggle, then canted her head. She considered her tattered hiking boots, torn overalls, and gritty tank. Soft and feminine wasnât the look she was going for today. Colorful and cute yes, femme, no. Flexing tattooed fingers and her jaw, she nodded. âSure, why not.â âI knew youâd say yes.â âHow so?â Nieema floated toward the door and exited with a wink. âOkay then.â Jasper shrugged, spinning on her heels. She pointed at the ice box and hoped there was something good to ease her frazzled nerves.
All three scare me for various reasons. First of all, I don’t like flying. Second, the ocean is full of giants. I have severe megalophopia (fear of large objects) and lastly, kangaroos. What I have learned in the last three years or so, is, roos are murderous herbivores. That’s fucking terrifying! You’re telling me this hopping demon wants to drown my dog because it can? Because that’s just how they’ve evolved???? They’re combative for NOTHING. They’re scrappy and now, I’m scared of them too. Thanks,, social media for ruining my idea of what a kangaroo is.
on a serious note, publishing a book is huge. That’s a risk I have yet to take. It’s not so much the fear of criticism anymore, but the fear of publishing a piece of shit revisions are major roadblocks at the moment.
Welcome to fall and Libra season! It’s only the best time of year for those who love spooky seasons, torrential weather, annnnd darkness! I am a moonchild and love nocturnal life. I have said this before, but it requires repeating, I love dusk. I love sunsets and crackling fires. I feel at home beneath the stars and a full hunter’s moon. Mother Luna is my bestie!
So, it comes as no surprise that I hate long days. This time of year is for US!
âWhere is it? Wherâyes!â Jasper found her favorite scarf in a box titled âbooksâ. There were books inside, but also non-book items. With a telling whimper, she scurried into the bathroom and tied the rainbow silk length tight. The bright, colorful theme continued all the way down to her boots. Pink overalls made her hips pop. Jasper had no business trying to look put together. She was celibate! A sexless succubi was a thing of myth, but she was here to defy the odds. Sex, love, and companionship brought nothing but pain into her life. Of course, when a handsome couple lusted after you it said something. She hadnât lost her touch. Jasper still had what folks wanted. From the tips of her gold-tipped horns to the soles of her feet she wasâŚshe was⌠Jasper stared at her reflection in a cruddy, broken mirror and sighed. She was still trying to find herself. Trying to recover tiny shards after a terrible ordeal. A shrill ring and clatter made her flinch. Jasper rushed from the washroom and saw to her phone. She smiled at the photo and name. âKit?â âHay.â âWhatâs up, lovebug?â âI⌠well⌠Jasper, I quit!â Her heart bloomed with warmth and hope. âOh, my god. Kit you didnât. Oh shit. You, whenâquit?â âYeah, and Dadâs pretty mad. Iâthat would make two of us and wellâhe kicked me out.â Jasper stopped dead and stared at her laptop. She had orders and shit to fulfill but holy hell, she was going through a lot. Tugging on her necklaces she nodded as Kit went on about their father’s lecture and anger. The Duke was mad and who cared. Not every demon belonged in hell. Not every demon knew how to harvest souls, make contracts, or even kill. Jasper didnât and had never committed murder. Other demons treated her like a pariah. âOkay, Kit?â âMhm?â âYouâre gonna stay with me. Of course. No questions asked.â âAre you sure? I donât want toâŚâ Her brother mumbled as always, doubting his usefulness and station in her life. âYes! Now shut up and get over here. And hayââ A heavy-handed knock had her jumping out of her skin. âJust come right in, donât knock. Iâm having my house looked at. Donât mind the mess and behave. Also, that fucking cat stays outsiââ âHeâs not a feral outside cat!â âI donâtââ A third knock put her in motion. âI gotta go. See you in a minute.â âKay. Bye.â Jasper ended their call and jogged downstairs, forgetting about the warped wood. She slipped on the second to last step and stumbled into the vestibule. âHoly god damn.â She was a mess and in a hurry, it seemed. The Sunsides were attractive and soooo off-limits. She hadnât participated in a threesome in years. Not that it was an option, because it wasnât. Jasper set aside her obsession with vampires and her curiosity about Buck Sunside to open the door. âHayyy.â Jasper waved a hand. âCome in. And watch your step.â âForgive Buck,â Nieema said, crossing the threshold. She carried herself like a queen and resembled one. âHeâs in writing mode. Ainât no talking while heâs walking. Iâm going to throw some things at him and he’ll jot it all down.â Jasper scrunched her nose as Nieema turned up hers. She was a gorgeous Black goddess with obsidian skin and a shock of teal braids. They were bound in an elegant crown and suited her regal features. âWater damage,â Nieema pipped, strolling into what might be formal living one day. Jasper loved the giant fireplace. âMold damage. Termites are having a time wallowing in their rot. The floors gotta go. Thereâs a leak below. Solid bones, though.â Nieema stomped twice and nodded. âThe foundation is crumbling, child. I can hear mice chattering in the walls and squirrels are in the attic. Theyâve chewed through the wiring, Iâm sure. I wouldnât turn on a single light if I was you.â âThey donât work,â Jasper added, though given the lanterns and fake candles, Nieema probably knew. Buck followed his wife, scribbling every word. They traveled through the house, making Jasper dizzy. There was shit wrong she hadnât even noticed. They conversed about what to do in the kitchen, leaving her to stare. Buck was enormous. Taller than them both. Nieema was tiny, maybe five-two, so everyone was taller than her. But it wasnât every day Jasper found a man over six-two. And he was at least six-three, perhaps five. His brawn caught her quick, but his mysterious nature and impeccable bone structure captured her attention. She found his down-home country attire funny next to the Mrs. Nieema dressed as if she fronted a metal band. Corsets, chokers, matte lips, and the color black. Yesterday it was a corset dress. Today it was leather pants. Her bottomâ âJasper? Hello?!â âYou expecting somebody?â Buck asked. âShit, Kit. Iâll be right back.â Jasper hightailed it out of the musty pantry to see about her brother.
The house was a piece of shit. On a quiet, cozy street it was an eyesore. Boarded, abandoned, and inhaling its last breath. Buck smelled rot and decay. The wood swelled and them termites, yeah. They were eating good. Mother fuckers. Nobody should be living in this house. It was one light breeze away from collapsing. He heard every creak, groan, and snap. Beams screamed under their weight and bolts rattled. âShe shouldnât be staying here, mama.â âI was about to say the same. This place is a ruin. Iâm wondering how much Hawk Shade got outta her. It ainât worth more than ten thousand. Knowing his greedy ass he milked the poor woman.â âYou know it too.â Buck opened a crooked cupboard door and let it slap to a close. Her house was in dire need of an overhaul. There wasnât shit worth repairing, everything had to go. Down to the nails. Jasperâs voice was a nice distraction. She entered the kitchen with a stout young man who was much older than he appeared. He cradled an ugly, fat, hairy cat and shook his head. âWhat aâJasper are staying here? It smells terrible. I can taste the mildew. I can get sick. My chest feels funkyâŚâ Nieema hummed in her way and twirled, facing the duo. They were kin, Buck saw it in the eyes. As his wife dallied and pulled on a wobbly drawer, he got to thinking. âThis fella is right, donât ya know.â âIâm sorry?â âWell…â Nieema examined the sink and clucked her tongue. âItâs a health hazard, a health violation. I wouldnât allow nobody to stay up in here, much less let you buy the place. The realtor was wrong, Jasper. Now, if you want us to fix the house fine. But I canât imagine yâall staying here overnight. I know you demonic and all, but it smells nasty, looks worse and where is this man gonna sleep? Like I said, I canââ The second a Wicker Spider come bursting through the floor, Buck pushed the soft fella into the pantry and slammed the door. The eight-legged beast was foul, quick, and mad as a wet hen. They clawed for Jasper who had jumped on the counter. Nieema was bucking on the fucker like the rodeo goddess she was. âDonât worry, mama! Immaââ He spotted a cast iron skillet in a box and snatched it. The creature with razor thorns lining each limb flailed about and lunged at him. As Jasper screamed and the man in the closet cried, Buck bashed the thousand-eyed freak in the head. âThatâs it, baby! Get that sucka!â Nieema tore into its gray, fibrous exoskeleton. âDonât let it scratch you!â âWomanI been fightââ He danced with the screeching as it tried and failed to throw his wife off. With a final blow, he called every root beneath and above. Vines, nettles, brambles, and barbed boughs fractured planks and studs. They snaked through wallpaper, around rusted pipes, and weaseled through outlets. From below and behind, branches and trunks pierced the giant bug, spraying guts everywhere. Nieema shred them to bits until it collapsed in a heap and wheezed. Their neon green eyes flickered and died as its vitality waned. âWell at least there wonât be much to dismantle up in here.â Nieema laughed and Buck rushed to her aid. He helped his sweet darlinâ down off the beast. âDonât be funny, Buck. Sheâs terrified.â Nieema extended a gentle hand and Jasper squeezed it. She helped the shaken woman onto her feet. âI think you got more than a termite infestation. Which is even more reason for you and theââ Jasper cursed and waved at the mess Buck done made. âMy brother!â âOh my. Honey, I am sorry. Buck, get the man outta there!â âYes maâam.â Buck, thanks to his Drendt side, had a way with nature and a strong connection plants. The mess of thorns, sticks, and needles parted for him like any pair of curtain might. He rushed to free poor boy. âOh my god is that Wicker Spider?!â Jasper;s kin balked, holding their cat close. âMhm.â âHow did it get here?â âProbably migrated or was brought over by a no good sumabitch. You let these heffas start making babies and you’ll be in a world of trouble. They love meat, ya know?â âMeat?â The man was sweating now, and that cat was a fuckinâ mess. His deep brick complexion was washed and damp. Given how his horns were sawed down Buck would wager he wasnât no killing demon. âThey sure not herbivores,â Nieema said. âNow, seeing as your kitchen is gone and we donât know if this thing has created a nest, I think you should stay someplace else.â Jasper nodded as she tugged her brother’s arm. She looked him over and agreed. âOkay. Yeah. Whatever. Weâll get a hotel andââ âDidnât nobody say nothing about a hotel, Missy.â Jasper whipped her head around. âWait, what?â âWe have more than enough room on our ranch.â âNieema, Iââ âThatâs settled. Come on now. Get a bag and letâs get going. I got ox tails and rice on the menu.â Jasper looked to Buck, as if heâd intervene. First of all, what Nieema says goes. And second, he wanted and needed to know her better. This was a fine invitation and beneficial for everyone involved. He smiled and nodded, his wife was never wrong about these things.